A Promise of Emptiness
by Wolf With Morals
Summary: Out the window, a few faint stars shine through. Is that all there is left?


_Of course, all this is belonging to the BBC. _

_I am only trompsing through and using nonsensical words, such as, the one used just a moment ago._

_ This is a random Angst-y fic. Enjoy!  
_

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I settled into my seat by the windowsill. Looking up at the stars. It had been one of those horrible days. One where I felt so alone, so out of place.

Looking at the stars, so close, so very out of reach.

My head ached, as if I had been working too hard. Maybe I had been. I've been spending long nights out, I've taken as many night shifts as I can, so I can walk home under the stars.

I've always liked walking in the dark, it's_ mysterious_. It helps me to remember that there really is something bigger out there.

Something just beyond my grasp.

If I close my eyes, I can feel the spin of this world. If I really _try_. I can sense the clicks of the clock in my head, counting down every moment, all those that have passed me by. All those that are yet coming. All of them.

My eyes are always on the stars on nights like this. I know there are so many hidden by the haze of town living. So many hidden.

If I_ tried_ to, I could bring myself to think of the worlds beyond. To picture the citadel, the scent of ancient musty trees, the taste of exotic fruit, the sound of a bird's cry in a far off heavens. I could almost bring myself to think of them.

But, I try not too. I've lost all my tears, they poured out and never returned. Something's are torn from me never to come back, and I don't know how to fix that.

I'm watching the lives around me whirl by, leaves on a breath of a wind. The green turning to a glorious red, then, to a frail brown, and suddenly, they are gone. Nothing except dust under foot.

Nothing you can hold onto, makes it stay. The harder I clutch something close, the more it hurts when I cannot keep it.

So, now I can only watch the stars. I have a new pair of eyes since the last time I was able to gaze into infinity and feel time flow past in all it's glory.

These eyes, these are not the eyes my husband loved. These eyes are no longer soft and curious eyes.

These are darker, bitter and time hardened. These are my new view on life. My view of the shadows, of the stars, of love.

Sometimes, I can almost believe I will be able to leave. That I won't have to be alone, that I will not have to watch the time pass. That once again, I will be free.

I half imagine that this time,_ this_ time, the dramatic return would wail through the street. That I would no longer be alone. That He would love me enough to give _me_ the choice, that he would think, and realize how alone I am, after _only_ a lifetime. That he would see how much pain I'm in.

If I could only tell him how much I loved him, I respected him. Maybe then, he would see me as worth coming back for.

But, then I realize, I _wasn't_ worth coming back for.

All the time in the whole of existence, and I really wasn't worth coming back for.

I left my seat, throwing the curtains closed. I shouldn't have, I knew better, but, some small part waited for the sound of the TARDIS.

It didn't come. It _never_ came.

I walked to my room, the bed empty, sheets pulled back only on one side. My house is vacant, so I only am here when I _must_ be. It's silence deafens me, so, I try to avoid this place. When David was alive, this planet didn't seem so small. I didn't feel so empty.

But, now, as a Lady of Time, I have nothing left for me.

Nothing except the smudges of starlight through a window, and the promise of a return.

A promise never to be fulfilled.

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_Does anyone else think Susan got a crumby deal, and that the Doctor totally never even gave her a second thought after ditching her?_

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End file.
